Peanuts & Chocolate Chips

olives

2011-05-17T22:50:00.000-07:00

No matter how old you are, having olives on your fingers makes you laugh like a 5 year old with your best friend.

Anything can make you laugh like a 5 year old when you're with your best friend, for that matter.

-Love & miss you Paula

My momma taught me how to yard sale!

2011-05-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

Today was very successful in the yard sale business. I myself took a couple things off your hands. I found some great things! Here is what I found..

First, this white board for $2.00 will serve for many fun nights of Pictionary!! Or maybe I'll find an isle and make it into a chalk board for

parties?? I don't know but I'm excited.

This small coffee pot I am MOST excited about because it was on the top of my "Don't have to purchase right away list". Finding it at a yard sale before buying in the store... is always fun.

$3.00

Jeff & I have small counter space and our large coffee maker is more than ready to be replaces by a "couples" maker as I call it. Just for two!! :)

It will give me a little more room for cutting veggies and preparing dinner! Best find of the day!

This Bridal Bag I got for $1.00 I will give to a friend who is getting married or I will put all my wedding hair styling supplies in it, to keep separate all the little items I need for Brides.

Speaking of Brides. These Peacock feathers I got for .50 cents I want to use to make a Bridal Hair piece for a friend getting married.. Or I'll make a head band with them :)

All together I spent only $6.50
to have a wonderful Friday morning at 3 yard sales in my neighborhood!

2011-05-09T08:39:00.001-07:00

Decided to start a new blog for the biz yesterday and I am also going to try to continue to write some personal posts again. If only feels like yesterday I left a posting but it was two years ago.. two years ago!! TIME! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I always love reading back and remembering the things that we going on at that time, so I saw push through and continue this blog (again) haha

Lets see.... hmmmm

Since I last wrote... I got married :) and it is.. .. .. . . . wonderful. God is so good, that is about all I can say on that. He knew Jeff before I did, but I also understand everything I experienced before meeting Jeff was purposed. Em is recently single (a week ago) from Phil and I can't believe how meaningful it feels to be able to cry with her and have her say "you know exactly how i feel". Gosh, God gave me a tool belt for young relationships while I was there myself. I learned so much about my relationship with Jesus through dating.

Jeff brings a sense of peace and hard happiness, nothing that shakes around anymore. Being married didn't come one day too late or too soon. I am so aware of God's perfect timing. I have had a great life, because Jesus is fun in the hard and happy times. All around, I have joy because He's my savior.

"Emily, you are going to understand why but it will be later. You don't have to change a thing about you. Turn your attention to where you are with God and goals you have. Have fun laughing with your girlfriends, because you are young and you never get younger." - the repeated conversing going on this month

I was so busy last Fall that I am finding myself enjoying all my own personal goals again. Whether with work or play. I have a lot more time for friends and Jeff and I get to plan our first family summer vacation. I am loving this season. I think we are going to try to go to Havcation and Houseboat Camp and then the OR coast at the end of July.

Plans for the coast will hopefully be fun, spontaneous camping... but I don't know a lot about spontaneous camping. Will it be more stress that fun? We shall see. Either way, beating the heat at the end of July sounds fabulous.

On the work side of life, I am busy with Wedding's. Wedding hair.. the blood pumping rush I give myself being put so on the spot while girls from all directions watch me with anticipation to the brides beauty. I love doing it and yet the stress isn't burning me out yet. It's a fun stress. I have a ton of clients and I am not looking to take on anyone new.

Jeff and I both are sneezing a lot but the weather is soo nice this week. We had rain and thunders last night and it's been beach weather, breezy and no clouds. He is in our backyard right now sitting reading and drinking his protein shake. I'm glad he's getting his vit D. I try to get a little, but SPRAY TANS are the way to go... no cancer solution to lookin good. :) I've got this Banana Boat summer mist that sprays on perfectly and is very lightly tinted.. I RECOMMEND IT!

My favorite things have been:

Talks with Paula overseas

Breakfast for dinner

cooking new receipts

spray tanning my legs

walk/jogging around my block

our awesome home

having opened windows all day long

documentation of May 23rd

2009-05-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

today mom turned 47. it was fun to have the whole family at yaks instead of some busy place. After lunch there we had ice cream cake at the house. Ethan is getting so big, i love watching him get smarter and smarter. He is really aware of what he is doing and what others are doing, as he is starting to talk. Sophie has this cabbage patch doll that smells like my childhood. I picked up the doll and was burping her, just for old time sake. It made them laugh, but really.. it was fun to remember being a kid and pretending i was a mother. I kinda feel like the year has given me a few different twists because 4 months ago i had this feeling like 2009 was the year that i was going to probably meet the man i'd marry. And now i feel like it might be really far away still. Either is fine, it's just this year i have finally arrived into a new stage. no more schooling and side jobs. My focus is NO LONGER on just getting through, or seeing an end, or pushing through each day. I am here, i accomplished it.. im on my own. Im going to just focus on my business and wait to see what God does.

I never thought i'd be a career woman though. I was watching Marley and Me today and it made me think about how when i first wanted to do hair. I thought i'd get the cosmo stuff done so that i'd be ready to have a schedule to raise kids. I wanted to help make money while having a bunch of kids. Now, i have to take my job seriously because it's my "main event". Im surprised, but im sure it's a good thing for me to be focused on one thing at a time. And i might not ever have "husband/house/kids" i just have what i have today.. and i'm going to be happy with this moment no matter what i get or don't get in the future.

I want to take this time to find out more about "giving". i want to search for answers that i don't have, when it comes to people in need. Another goal is to just study the word more. I also want to think outside the redding box with ministry opportunities and hobbies.

I am excited because God is showing me new things about himself that i haven't known before.

I am tired today because i stayed out late talking with Nick last night and i'm still trying to come down off our conversation about God. It was so hard and so hard to walk away from. That is the third time, we've talked about his life and God for hours and again for the third time it came back to nothing and a circle that never ends. It is just this helpless feeling. Why will some people just never the real God? so many people talk about him, so few people are filled with his spirit inside them.

I am thankful today that God is as big as he is and he's not afraid of my co-dependency on him doing the impossible work that i feel i will never be able to do or see happen. It's hard to hope for miracles.. i mean, that's why the word "impossible" exists!! because things seem Impossible sometimes... so so so impossible. and so he speaks about himself as the "I AM" .. that is just cool.

one week until Paula gets hitched.

Memorial day goal - have fun in the sun and remember that my body is a temple that doesn't need skin cancer.. so i have to cover up even though tanning is my middle name. Us sisters have a pact to stay in our suits all day sunday and monday. :)

I am watching the girls while mom and dad go to ashland for 2 days alone together.

today i spent money at kohls.. i don't know how im going to save for New York!!! im suppose to stop shopping.. but it's hard.!

so tonight i reneted Hulk and the blockbuster guy said, "o no you dont want this one.. you want the Incredible Hulk, let me go grab it" and i was a little beezed by that because i wanted to watch the first one before the second and he just ran away, grabbed it and rang me up because he thought the second one was better than the first. And as i watched it.. i was beezed even more because i totally didn't know what was going on! i mean i did.. but it was lame to not see the details of how Hulk because Hulk.. so i don't trust blockbuster men anymore! i kinda just don't like block buster! 5 dollar movies are a ticket at the real show and shoot redbox is where it's at..

peace out

what's that smell?

2009-05-18T00:30:00.001-07:00

ahhhww i just at a handful of peanuts and chocolate chips and it was a little too much.. im feeling like i shouldn't eat them past 9pm probably.. too late for such goodness to be enjoyed :)

hope your sunny Sunday was as good as mine!!!

I love the Bible study we had tonight in Ezekiel 20. It says a lot about the blog from a couple days ago.. the one about my Life Point Average and sinning......

"I will bring you out from the peoples and gather you out of the countries where you are scattered with a mighty hand, with an outstretched arm and with FURY poured out. And i will bring you into the wilderness of the peoples and there i will plead MY case with you face to face.

I will bring you into THE bond of covenant.

I will accept you as a sweet aroma when i bring you out from the peoples and set you apart.

Then you shall know that i am the LORD, when i bring you into the land of Israel (a good place he as prepared) into the country for which I RAISED my hand in an oath to give to your fathers. And there you shall remember your ways and all your doings with which you were defiled; and you shall loathe yourselves in your own sight because of all the evils that you have committed. Then you shall know that I AM the Lord, when i have dealt with you for MY NAME'S SAKE not according to you wicked ways nor according to your corrupt doings" says the Lord God.

my mom always says that i "stink" when i act out in insecure emotions. She has seen my handle enough things with a Godly perspective, that when i act out differently.. she says i stink. And i'm glad she associates doubt and insecurities with "smelling bad" because here in Ezekiel God says that he will actually make us a "sweet aroma" to "smell good".. and it's true.. only God dealing with us pushing us to belief.. makes us good smelling people.. attractive to be around, liked by other people. And when i am rude to my sister just to be rude and my mom says that was "smelly" it's true and as a mean person or rebellious one to Gods ways, i stink. Go mom, being so biblical in your motherly ways when i was younger. :) thanks for loving me enough to point out my stench and remind me to deal with that before God. At the time i was mad at you, but i understand now.. .. you wanted me to smell good, just like God asks of us.

wide angle lens

2009-05-16T00:14:00.000-07:00

It was a lot of fun to help Heather with her photo shoot today. She did Kim Walkers wedding, which i really admire her music so it was fun to meet her and see her AMAZING wedding. It was a musical at the Cascade! so crazy.. i helped heather with all the before shots and then i left to go to the rodeo which the rodeo was dumb.. which made me sad.. with the right company it could have been a lot of fun but everyone was tired and quiet it seemed. I was thinking about how i wished i would have stayed and help heather and had a blast at an awesome wedding. :) She called me when it was all over to say that i was the best assistant she has ever had. that totally made my day. She is going to start asking me to assist her from now on. I like it cause i dont desire to be a photographer so i am just a really good pair of extra eyes for details and i helped her move quick and stay on time. Plus i know she doesnt like bossing people around, but im use to it cause she has always been like my older sister.. and so i just walk in her shadow anyways.

Today reminded me of when i was working in my internship for Simpson and Phil Vaughn went to a houseboat camp that i was directing as my internship, and after it all his evaluations were that i was a rare person who could lead and follow all at the same time. He said i could get business done and also slow down to be flexible, and that usually people are either or. I'll never forget it, he was surprised that even though i was running the whole first day of camp craziness, i had time to still go on a boat and laugh with a bunch of high school girls. that meant a lot to me, what he said, i've never forgotten. And today i was feeling like a the really great assistant that i use to be in high school ministry with pastor chad. I miss those days sometimes, and i like being a really good helper.. and stepping aside. i like helping other people look good, and i also like to have my spot light sometimes too. Today was awesome. im super excited to have this new job opportunity with HeatherArmstrongPhotography! im totally gonna do hair on set for her now and help the senior girls pick out outfits for their senior photo's shoot. !!!!

Im glad to be young and open to new things, i love when life picks up for the better and takes new turns. i'm glad God is knowing what we need even when we don't see anything new coming.

Great day!!

PS. Paula's wedding is exactly two weeks away.. i cannot wait to see her and stay up all night talking.

3.5 Life Point Average

2009-05-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

is all i have is what other people think of me.

what pressure...

i've had my shining moments, i've had my ugly ones too.

the scale tips...

because of Gods great LOVE for me he deals with me...

and so it is good to feel like i've let him down (even tho i really can't)

but the conviction, that i do know better, is good LOVE of his... because it causes me to desire CHANGE... plan changing, distraction dodging, time thinking, laughter stopping... CHANGE.

I don't like ignoring what i know, and unfortunitely i know a lot. Once i notice what grieves my father, i stop. Somethings i've been hoping would be the "last" time the last 10 times..

i just know what its like to hangout by myself.. because i'm sometimes the only person who knows how to brings out the best in me.

God is responsible for my reputation. If my ugliness shows it's face, i'll embrace it. If perhaps i shine, i'll thank him for it. I know i am worth nothing, and everything all at the same time. In the Emotions of my nothingness, there i am bombarded with the Fact that im made clean and valuable. I hate that, because it feels a lot better to be mad and self focused. It takes extreme selflessness to forgive yourself and move on in a valuable state of mind.

the more i stay moping, the longer i get away without really changing. and sometimes i hate breaking free because i feel like i got off the hook. Guilt keeps me away from people, and it's when im free, fully confident in God and my captivating happiness and smile.. that i feel invincible again and shocked when i walk down that road again and again.. habitual sin.

freedom might be more about remembering than forgetting. I pray my sin starts to taste like worms in my mouth... i'd just get so sick of it i finally stop.

I see progress this year for sure. I do think we are given tests to pass or fail and it's good to feel proud of passing and sad for failing. I have both, but at least it isn't all F's. I've always maintained B's and C's..

chatty cathy tonight folks!!

2009-05-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

It has been a rough week. I realize my best friend is not only moving on in life because she is so far away from me, but because she is getting married as well at the end of May. My life is moving a little too fast but then again not really. But enough to be behind in friendship world. :( Paula i hope you know i've been getting teary eyed lately when i think of you. YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR LAST NAME IN 21 DAYS!

I can think of a couple things i wish i could change right now, but im going to write about the high-lights. Having my mother. Since it is mothers day, i should give her a shout out anyways right? But really, she has impacted my week twice! twice in pretty big ways. First, she caught me driving away from the house on wednesday.. i went there with a heavy heart.. realized no

one was home.. picked up a bible, read a couple scriptures and then left.. but she caught me and yelled out the window "well i know i wasn't home, but COME on back!" and the invitation was enduring. She told the girls to play and wait and keep playing so she could listen to my cry and take about an hour of her time. THAT IS HUGE to me. On top of that, she helped me laugh, and dry my eyes, she focused on me and identified the ways i was beating myself up. I told her "thank you" afterwards and that just being about to speak all that out, made me feel so much more free.

Second great moment with mom this week. Today at the Mother's Day lunch at LCC. She and i have this bond from years back where she throws this extravagent event that stresses her out and then i always spend the next day, SUNDAY being real mothers day, telling her that she

is more than the planner/task manager.. she impacts lives. She feels more of the drainage of dumb people, naturally, so i love being the opptomistic side of her ministry life. Today, another year, another luncheon. I was suppose to help with special music stuff but woke up feeling sick, and i was not up for telling my mom that i was sick.. i dont want to let her down! so i got ready and laid down for a sec and fell asleep, and she called and the amazing woman t

hat she is, was more concerned with me than the luncheon. so sweet. i missed the practice for music and slept but i felt alright to go still. I didn't look to great tho, i had no makeup on and jeans and chipped nail polish :( but i was there. Women dress up for this tho so i wanted to go unnoticed. It was crazy how it all played out, because this is where the story gets good. Im sitting at our table and the high school girls are girls who seem familiar but i dont know where and as we talk, they said they were at Winter Camp this year and heard my "talks" which i did for the females at camp, and it was cool to talk about it and remember that time just a couple months ago where i felt on top of the world. Anyways, the luncheon was AMAZING. best church service i've been to in a long time and i cried like a baby at some of the points the speaker was making. The woman was amazing. I sat there, realizing that if i had makeup on it would b

e smudged anyways and that im glad i was a "mess" because it set me up to just receive. I know that if i would have been focused and nervous about the music, i wouldn't have received like i did. I love when God knows exactly what you need and just surprises you with it at his time, so unexpected. I wasn't expecting anything but to say hello to all my mom's friends. Instead, God spoke into my life about how he is going to use who i am, and bless me through it. He will speak to me real things. He has. He has good things for those who love him. He does. My life's story will not be a sad ending, he is totally shaping me as im growing up still. My mother did a great job today and i wished every girl could have been there, it was that good.

i love you mom.

I got some great dresses at Ross last night with Shelby! We got a costco hot dog (source of sickness to stomach perhaps) and went to the sundial to eat them and chit chat. It was

great, despite the 4 miquito bits i now have. We hit up Ross like legit mob style, taking everything good and leaving the ruins. So fab! Ended with me getting fro yo from my new spot and then headind over to a HIGH SCHOOL PARTY! HALLER!

yeah, havent been to a house party like that in 7 years.. it was so funny. It was the best observation time of

my life! we are stupid in high school! so insecure.. :( but i had to wish my small group

chick a happy 16 so i loved it.

-----> my girls with hottie potottie teased hair!

Great time hanging with Shelby lately.

Got a FHS track team car wash today. Gotta support the high schoolers in my life :)

Tonight i went to FUSION and that was cool, got all dresses up.. haven't felt so fancy since San Diego. Went to the Eatery afterwards, had a horrible conversation with Holly. It was so

good it was horrible ya know? She gets a kick out of my life, but like really.. i need to get some stuff together, some real issues and as funny as they are to her, she gets all excited and misses the point that.. as a friend... she should tell me that im an idiot.. not smile at me. NE ways, played pool under ground and that was uooober fun. now im home watching "Because i said so". Love it!

this is sooo long and detailed, dang.. im sorry for all my readers! ive gotta use words more wisely, and less often...!! im learned how to write here tho, i need to get to the point a less wordy way. :)

ps. highlights

Ethan said my name for today, first time i've heard him say it. :D i've never loved hearing "Ecka" more. And, cute kid notes, I watched Sophie on Friday and she took a nap on Shelby's bed and when i was putting on my makeup in my room, she had a little kid sneeze .. and i almost died with love and laughter for

her little nose and little sneeze. i love kids.

My first week in May

2009-05-02T23:50:00.000-07:00

I love my job. Today was PROM day and i have been looking forward to it for a month now. Up do's Up do'd Up do'd!! I get pretty creative with up do's. i want to get all the pictures of the hair and put them on like a Hair Blog, i think that would be cool to keep up.

I saw the Wolverine movie and it was amazing. i love x-men. i always have. remember me at halloween? Rouge! yessss

I have been driving my zippy Yaris. I love it. I didn't realize how great it is to get a new car until today when i realized i actually missed driving it. I couldn't wait to leave work so i could drive my car somewhere. Im in a very "honey moon" stage with it. I love love love this car!

I am thinking about going blonde? weird i know. What do you think? Maybe i should get a tattoo finally? that costs more money. If i would just stop going to Target then i'd have plenty of spending money for something like a tattoo. but i cant get off my addiction for Target.

tomorrow is sunday. i am excited. i love sunday. it's raining which is funny because it's been so sunny.. but i love whether changes because i feel like it goes along with life well. I need the sun and i need the rain too. Sympathy and encouragement. sympathy is the rain and encouragement is the sunny days. :)

Work was good this week.. i had a great time with the people i got to see. I am blessed with great people as clients. super blessed. God is so faithful and so good. My small group is going so well. The girls are amazing. We prayed together for so long last time, straight to the point and i appreciate that in them so much. They want God to move in their world and to become super beautiful in their relationship with Him, so they just cry out for it. Im blessed to have that every thursday. We've gotten close, lots a birthdays so far, one sleep over at my house, they're excited about prom together this weekend, we mainly stay at my apartment which they love so much, they play house when they are here. But our little adventures through star bucks and winco have been fun too. They went baby sitting with me once. It's a great group considering that we've only been meeting since the end of February.

New Skin

2009-04-29T00:05:00.001-07:00

i just had A day. what a day. i've had a tooth ache for the past 3 days! It's driving me crazy. it is one of my wisdom teeth and the whole right cheek in my mouth hurts so bad. It might be my tooth or the cold ive had that is making my head hurt so bad lately either way ive been going to bed each night just hoping that in the morning it will be gone and it hasn't. :( not fun. Today i worked 9 hours straight at Hair City and it was long because of my head/tooth ache. Considering the pain, i really wish today was a slow day. I also never take medication, and i realized i can't go through another day like today without taking something for the pain. I am right in the middle of getting insurance for myself and the first thing i need to have done is a little pull and tug of the wisdom teeth for sure. yikes!

Uh, i also had a fun day today because i sliced open my hand really bad :( As i sit here and drunk blog im eating some peanuts and chocolate chips (my favorite home made trail mix) and i keep thinking the peanuts smell bad, and then i remember that it's just the smell of my "liquid bandage" that i have gooped up all over my hand. I went straight to walgreens after work and got a big bottle. Its called "new skin" which is exactly what i need!!! i cut myself so much!! it's not fun.

My limbs are pretty sore right now, back and feet mainly but when shelby saw me try to open the oh-so-deserved beer and it fell over cause i only had one hand to use, she swooped in and helped me. What an amazing roomate i have, this blog entry is a shout out to her for sure. Shelby Schwitters, you're my hero. fo sho. As I sat on the couch all teary eyed and she brought me the salad i made for dinner and my half full beer and even my laptop charger so i could blog. :) She made my day. She even brought over my trail mix to the couch. she is amazing!!!!!

I am so tipsy right now its not even funny, i have one beer and my toes get fuzzy. I don't like to drink to often because i get so dang tipsy from uno beer. But i can't feel my tooth and thats cool. dang, i can't open my water bottle. and shelby went to bed! im hopeless. hahaha

We watched Night in RodIsland last night. I know that's not the real name but i cant remember the real name. It was dumb.

okay, serisously my hand is bleeding from trying to open the water bottle. Shelby when you read this i hope you are laughing hard.

Wax night!!! coming soon!! okay so shelby, im going to go public whether you like it or not. I have all this wax from my waxing classes during cosmo school, and well i got the great idea do do some pre-summer waxing around the bathing suit BOTTOM areas and shelby and i totally went to town friday night. it was so funny. we are so much fun, and i know it, i dont ever want to loose shelby as my roomy. Well, maybe for a man. But, we have a lot of fun in our underwear together. that is, a real friendship.

Sunday was great at church, my dad was teaching and he is my favorite teacher. He is so good. I sat with mom and it was a good time. His teaching was in Eziekel which is the book we are all going through. Dad reminded me that God does let us go through trails so we are better people, learning from life and having better character for it. Nathan spoke at the night service and it was super good too. Ive been very thankful for nathan and my dad, two people that make living in redding worth it. Nathan has been a huge influence on me and a connection to the outside world actually, like outside of redding. My dad has just made me remember how lucky i am to have great parents and to live by them is nice.

I'll share my bit of moral knowledge now, and yes i still cannot open the water bottle but i can feel my toes again now. Counseling note of the day- "parents are humans." When i stopped expecting my parents to be anything other than that, i started to appreciate them and be thankful for them. And guess what, by doing that, they have been better and better parents to me. I was so sick of being disappointed by them until God told me that he was the only one who would be perfect towards me- unbiased, full of time, full of love- GOD-not my parents or any other human. That changed my life. My parents were failing me and so i stopped expecting them to be perfect all the time. I still get my feelings hurt from time to time.. but i understand Gods unfailing presence to me all the time. Mom and Dad have flat out been to busy for me most of the time, they were very involved in taking care of all kinds of different kids and out of the loop with what i was doing. They didn't have the time to wait and hear what i was really trying to say. Im sure most kids have felt that way too. Now as an adult i choose to not live at home so im not reminded of the lack of time and space for me, i am not bitter about it. Ive chosen God to fill that void and i will testify that, since then my parents and i have been so much closer. Their relationship with me finally has to be intentional or else its none existent b/c i don't live there. Today it's great. And i choose to "most" days ramble off in my head the reasons i am thankful about my family. When i stop thinking about myself, i see that they have positively affected so many other kids who don't have parents, and is all i was doing was sharing them. They never meant to ignore me. so ya, thats a shout out to JC for truly being the key to relationships. And i have healthy relationships because he gives me wisdom when i ask for it (James 1:2-6). God didn't change my parents he changed me. Now i have the biggest heart for Orphans too! shoot, thats a whole nother blog. :) Roomy - i know you can't get enough of my counsel and wisdom talks!! so you can always read my blog for even MORE from me. :)

darn water bottle!

Avocados

2009-04-25T11:49:00.000-07:00

so anyone been to Avocados lately? the new restaurant on Eureka Way?

Shelby and i went last night and i've gotta tell you... i was having flash backs of the camp dinning hall. It was a weird first impression but as i hauled my plate, fork and napkins over to the old fashion table and chair, i felt 10 years old again. It was a mix between lassen church camp and Wes Camp.. either way, i was waiting for someone to get on the micro and announce that we were going to be meeting at the reck hall in 20 minutes so hurray up and eat.

I went to a mt. lassen church camp by Honey Lake as a kid, and unfortunately Avocados brought me back there. I think anyone can say they have a cafeteria feel to them, but it was the set up of the tables, the signs, the old fashioned chairs, the guy with his mic and guitar at

the back of the room, the staff, and even the baby high chair that freaked me out. I stepped in and felt like i must have driven way out of town.. i was getting homesick by the time i finished.. thank goodness i remembered my car was just right out front, and no, my mom had not dropped me off to stay there for the weekend!

So, it's an odd review of the place, but it was odd to really go through that experience on a friday night in downtown redding. creepy kinda, i don't think i'll go back for dinner anytime soon, maybe lunch.

2000 Pontiac Sunfire GT ..... GT = Good Times

2009-04-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

i got so much stuff done today! it was very productive. I woke up, input business updates in my computer. Then i went for a lengthy walk at McConnel. Ive been there a lot lately with the sun being out.. it's a tan session/workout/God time all in one. Then i came home and put away all my winter clothes and got out and put away all my summer clothes. I haven't seen my bedroom floor in a week, which is long for me, so that felt nice. I did laundry, i colored my hair, then took a shower.. all before 3pm! so great. I also got new brown beach sheets the other day and so i finally put them on my bed. I have a new bag a stuff for the summer yard sale :)

Tomorrow i hand over my sunfire to Paul. I will have his yaris now, which i should be more excited about, but im just sentimental about the red car. I picked her out from Taylor Motors in 2001 when i was a junior in high school. I saved up tons of money and then got a car loan and have driven that car through so many seasons of life. The longest i've been away from her was Africa for 2 months... we've had 8 good years. :)

Here's what i found in the car when i was cleaning it out. Its a fun trip down memory lane!!

(im emptying the bag of stuff right now to list each thing i saved for this blog)

1. ty Beanie Baby tag that is from "Freckles" my leopard pet.. remember when they were so popular! found in the glove box.

2. Dutch Bros antenna topper- its a peace sign hand. . remember when we first got dutch in redding? i was in high school and i loved it. in the glvoe box

3. a tampon-.. like i thought i'd need that while driving? LOL. Or remember it is in my glove box?

4. My san diego city college parking pass.. fall, spring and summer 2008. in the center console.

5. Suzie Zoo card from Riann- she gave it to me before i left for a weekend in Reno with Lindsey Tyler.. Sophomore year at Simpson. in center console-

6. EHS "Go Seniors- Seniors Rule" powder puff sign. It was on a tooth pick on a cupcake .. i can remember the bbq i went to for it. the little flag was in on my sun visor.

7. Motorcycle store "Fator's" business card with an appointment on it for Nick Sass. in the center console ..hahah

8. PF Changs napkin in the glove box.

9. A quote from Robin sometime at Simpson.. by Tomas Merton saying " We do not want to be beginners, But let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners all our life" I can remember having that on my sun visor.. and Nick Sass telling me he has no idea what in the world that meant. lol hahaha

10. A picture of Dustin and i driving to the corn maze in back in October 2007. I was visiting from SD on his birthday.. that was at one point on my dash board.. long distant relationship! yikes!

11. speaking of Dustin, when my car got broken into i never did find the other girl monkey that matched our love monkeys.. but i found her, in the center console.. hahah

12. a letter to Paula from September 08.. it was a good letter that i intended to send, but didn't it was in my CD's I wrote to her about being back in redding, and missing her and thanking her for helping me through September 08.. a really hard month. im still thankful for those phone calls.

13. lastly- in my cup holder i cleared out 8 beer bottle caps that ive saved from the Eatery a month or so ago.. i think i wanted to collect them because i'll always look back and remember the time in my life i worked at the Eatery knowing about all these different beers and just every crazy thing that has happened to me while working there.. from nick to my brother to angie and tattoos.. it's been intersting. I can remember hating the scene and loving it too much, and now i've found how to live in the middle... grace to be there im sure.

Well that's a tribute if i've ever written one. It's not about the car, but the life lived in it and the season and memories. So long.. red. You have been good to me. If cars could talk huh? I don't think i'v ever had a friend for 8 years!!

Medford trip continued...

2009-04-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

My sister and a cute little hair style i did for her Senior Photo Shoot.. this face isn't my fav, but

this is still a beautiful shot.

This is her Prom pick from the boutique!! look at those hot orange shoes!!! DANG!

These are a couple dresses i would to get married in.. the one with flowers is crazy cool, but not so practical.. the lace one i love cause i have spanish style wedding dresses..

There's no way i could got to all those bridal shops and not peak at some beautiful wedding dresses.. it was fun.. and that brown one would be a great brides maids dress... pretty much my style so i feel like documenting this for future reference.. :)

Medford Trip

2009-04-15T23:38:00.000-07:00

I got to go to grandmas house in medford yesterday.. !! Emily went Prom dress shopping and boy! she did good. She is going to be the hottest girl there.. she got all her stuff from a bot

ique in Medford and dang, the girl is gonna be the "lable" at FHS prom 2009.. She ended up getting a Betsy

Johnson (i think thats the name) or Betty Johnson dress and BCBG heels. We don't even ever shop by labels but Emily is gonna be slamin at the dance. My mom hopes she can wear the dress again because its not all weird and specialized for prom.. its just a cute anywhere nice dress..Also because of the brand.. if she wants to next year she can probably sell it on ebay. It was $370!

I loved seeing emily get spoiled, she

deserves it. I showed grandpa how to use the storage disk on his

computer. Grandma and all the girls went hot tubbing and that was fun. Emily bought

a swim suit at a thrift store because she forgot hers.. that was awesome..

she got one from the 90's .. blue polka

dots. hahahaha i went with her and tried

on a 80's suit that had a racer back and zipper.. it was great.

I love the drive to Oregon.. i just love the mountains and trees of northern california. It hailed and snowed on us on the way.. and when we got

to Talent.. it was hailing.. pretty cool.

eggs

2009-04-14T22:43:00.000-07:00

Easter was sunday. I will never forget this Easter. If we all have hypathetical easter egg baskets, my eggs have always been in my basket for the most part. I never spread them out for a hunt or left them hiding where eggs are suppose to be found. Ever since i was little, i've put my eggs into one safe basket and i do not prefer to look around to see what everyone else is doing with thier eggs. I want one person to give my eggs to, Jesus, i want his attention, i want to see what he would do with my eggs- which ones to open and enjoy- which ones to leave closed. [I wonder when or if i'll ever stopping feeling like, i give up so much to my convictions. I swear i can never ignore them, i can hardly ever relate to people around me. I've always trusted one voice- Gods. As far as i can remember i've put my eggs in a Jesus basket. I might have left one or two eggs out in the rain, but for the most part all areas of my life (the eggs) into Gods hands. I really ask him about things, and he really always tells me what to do. And i can never ignore it, and it pisses me off sometimes. I use to worry that i wouldnt be interesting, because i felt like i never lived life. So deep, so ingrained... i am thankful that i know "to live is to die." I act like i don't want to be so aware of Gods way for me, but i do love it. I do love the word of God and i desire really more than anything to know it. It is the only thing that makes me feel good about myself because when i look at my life, i have nothing going for me.. aside that i am close to God. So, i obviously find comfort in reading and talking to him. I connect that to walking by faith and not by sight. If i look at my eggs and look at the desicions i make the world would say i am going to be a lonely bible thumper who probably has lots of cats. But, by faith.. i love what i see. Kathrine Von Bora Luther... yeah.. she shaved her head and hid herself in a barrel for 3 days to get out of the Roman Catholic church in desire of reformation... in which i am a woman today free to read the word in my own bedroom..thats who i relate to sometime and get excited to be like . i think i'm cool .. but only in one of two perspectives. Not the world, for sure. My eggs are in a basket, all of them, all for christ. I don't mind. I can recall many times i've asked myself "do you believe this rebekah, are you going to make life changing choices based on a possible myth?" every time, i get so passionate and agree with myself that yes, i am going to believe it.. all of it, every word of Christ, the whole thing whether i like it or not. I want to be really red or really blue but not live and die in the middle. Cause if im gonna be a sinner, then im gonna be a porn star and go make all the money and have all the instant gratification i can get. :) If i die and there is no heaven, i'll still be glad i walked one line and gave it my all. I'm not going to let myself feel today, like im missing out of life because i choose Christ. Darn, but christ is clear to live is to die, his ways are black and white, being last is first.] There are just battles going on inside me right now. I know my enemy. and i know how he wins and i know how he looses

Back to why easter was so great- it is good times with my family that i'll never forget. Back in San Diego when i was going hard times.. my brother was as well. And unfortunitly, my brothers problems are usually a lot bigger than mine. (Im not gonna lie, im grateful that i havent walked through the things he's walked through and i mean like since we were kids.. it's been this way. He's had it harder than me. But im thankful too that i never did get to feel babied by my parents... they are usually wrapped up in Paul and i found that God my father was just as good a support as my folks, if not better.) I just don't lean on people when im having a hard time. God knows how to guide me but this year is the first year ive let people in to what i am working on, and ask for their support.. so back in September i had a huge break through with my mom, letting her know about the major stuff i was walking through and she just had changed eyes for me. I saw her realize "rebekah needs me". Funny cause it does feel good to have a parent feel bad for you, like she just stopped expecting me to be perfect and gave me a break.. it was a cool releasing feeling. I could see where some kids take advantage of getting that attention. So on Easter my family let me cry and they let me show my true feelings and it wasnt over looked or stupid. Paul didnt have anything dramatic to steal the love. It was a hard day for me persoanlly and i love easter because im all about reverance for significant things in the history of my faith. I got to have the best church service ever.. high sight.. and then 3rd service was so family-like. My brother loved me and hung out with me. My sister in law shared so much good advice with me. And even though you are not suppose to show tears at random moments, when random things made me cry, my family surrounded me. We ended the day with worship. Nathan was picking at this guitar and i know my mom needs us to support her wierd new hobby of the violin.. and em started practicing monday night songs on the piano.. before i knew it i could not get away from worship ringing in the house... so i can around and sat with the "family band" crying a little at first and then just singing my heart out. hahhaha i love to sing. And the kids played good, my dad just put his feet up.. and it was intimate for me to worship with my whole family .. for about an hour and a half.. typically, id be too cool for that. God is just ruining me for cool. I'll never forget about this years easter.

grill cheese sand'wiched by tyler

2009-03-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

i love grilled cheese, especially when it is made for me by someone i like to hangout with. :D
i love movies, car time, Rushi and pool with the person i like to hangout with. :D
i really like tyler :D

i've been stressed the last 2 or 3 days. i feel like a lot is on my plate. i have a lot of people that i want to give my all it, and it's not happening. Today i was such a grump with myself because i had no spare time to breathe. I know im feeling stressed when i don't even take time to put on my sunglasses.. i mean its super bright out and i am driving and i just am like, stressed to find them and put them on.. thats a tale sign. I felt like that today. I couldn't just enjoy the ride. Its funny, cause my mom made me listen to this song the other day, right when i was all tense and upset and stressed.. and she didn't know how i was feeling, but she said "rebekah you have to hear this song" and of course the last thing i want to do it relax and sit down.. i've just been super busy. But the song, i listened to for a couple seconds, has impacted my attitude a lot.
He is for me. thats all i needed to know.In all my decisions and the heavy load i take on, he is for me. I don't feel like im suppose to change or rearrange anything stressing me out, im just suppose to learn that He is for me. I don't have to take on things as if i am all alone. The most outstanding thing i have going with God right now is that, someone cares and knows all the feelings i have. That might not make sense, but i believe that as a girl, i hope that someone like as if people are supernatural .. someone will be there to just let me feel everything i feel and not try to fix it, but just listen to me. God is the most powerful sense of reassurance i've ever had, or will have.
When i need to "lean" on something and someone, i lean on him.. and yes i want to song the song from jr. high group "lean on me when you're not strong" .. not really tho, i can't possibly put that expectation on anyone but God. He is okay with the things that make me insecure and the worries i think about and the way i just get short tempered. I'll never loose his love, even in my ugliest moments. That is huge for me right now.. to just let him in. I can count on him listening and helping me change my attitude. Lies about who i am, what i deserve and what other people are thinking.. envade me, i think they envade every girl more than they should and its a constant fight to try to be a leader to other girls and show them that you can fight insecure thoughts and lies.. that i can be someone who has depth to them, not because ive become a bitch to life but because God makes me more, makes me interesting, makes me, me and proud of it.
Anyways, i just have had my break downs today and i had to remind myself that even though i was hoping saturday would feel like a day off.. it's not, it's one of my hardest working days at the salon and eatery. I dont know why i was kidding myself thinking id have time for me or people. I just gotta put things into perspective when im crying in the shower. I'm trying to keep it together and be strong even though im stressed.. God is for me.
I wish i was more excited about getting up and cutting the caldwell's kids hair at 8:30 am tomorrow. I wish i would have really hugged my grandparents today instead of thinking tons of different things while i was listening to them. I wish i didn't stain my hands as bad as i did today at the salon.. the hair color is still very frustrating for me. I wish i would hear back from people, get an email from the cpa lady. I wish i would call niki to go to coffee. i wish i would call holly to as well. i wish i would have a free night to see stacy and angelo, i wish i could know if i was going to san diego for sure next month, or Reno. i wish i didn't get so sad when tyler leaves and that id know how shelby is really doing. I need to meet with all my small group girls alone and get rach a present. !! uwwuuhhhh well there is a lot i want to accomplish next week, and i just wrote it all out, and it kinda feels good, not really.. i just am rambling.. its what blogs are for tho..
i think.. okay im not gonna stressed about whether im writing my blog right or not!!! thats the last thing that needs to cross my mind.. !! i am the first to admit that, i, rebekah david, have a therapist in myself.. thank god for writing and journaling..

it's 2009 time to rhyme

2009-03-18T02:21:00.001-07:00

o my word. you know what i really want in life- God. i remembered today that i love fish. i think a diving trip would be my favorite thing.. i would be very scared at first because i am with my scuba mask.. but i should love it cause i love looking at different fish. maybe just an aquarium! Something i need to just get use to, im not in san diego anymore. I need to hold on to my boots cause my life is changing everyday. It's really very crazy.. we only have one life to live and im living it for sure. i love dipping my hands in new things and im getting use to being ready for whatever is next.2009 is going to be unpredictable.I like the lessons i've learned. I've learned that things aren't always what they seem.
I talked to abby tonight and it was amazing. she reminded me to just be lead by the holy spirit with my life. Which is true, i totally forget that. And even tho my mind is on over drive because of Tyler right now, she reminded me that im not a failure if it doesnt end up working between us. I guess im just waiting for the day when i can see the candy, smell the candy, buy the candy, take the candy home and EAT IT! ahaha in other words im wondering if its okay to say, Praise God ... i really am as happy as i feel. But feelings are just crazy and that idea "thank you god for the happiness ive always wanted in a man" is probably an ongoing thankfulness more than a destination we all arrive at. ?? hmmmm? 8 ideas all at once there. well, im saying im just really wanting to know if tyler is THE ONE because im not all on his side yet, i am bouncing around still from wow to woe. This feels great but hold back as well. And even if he is the one i get to call husband someday, the idea of marriage bliss is a perspective and thankfulness to always ask for, not a destination i'll arrive at-- im sure if i choose i can always find something wrong. I really want to choose happiness in my marriage one day, i want to be thankful with what God gives me. And thats just what a husband is in my prospective, a gift. You know, i am blessed that God would form me relationally to connect perfectly with another man. If he calls me to be single that is okay too. I just dont think he has because i know he hasnt at this point.Tyler might be one step closer to me knowing exactly what kind of candy to buy and take home, but i have to choose thankfulness no matter what. And i am, God im thankful to you even if Tyler is simply here for only a certain time and that time is short. You are good no matter what, you are faithful to me no matter what, i am not a failure no matter what.Love does get harder and harder to risk the closer and closer i am to seeing that im not playing around anymore. when i meet a guy these days its straight to the chalk board to write up a real diagnosis. No more "just for fun" relationships.God you know i have a broken road when it comes to matters of my heart. In fact it is one of those things about YOU i never understood... there were times i thought id need to marry the guy i had kissed because i needed to make it right in your eyes! ive just been confused a lot that you could have my best interest in mind. Im learning about living life without regrets. I've never been more thankful to be lead by the holy spirit and not have to worry.
I need honesty and availability from a man. I don't need heavy plans, but i do need weekly ones. I need to remember to hangout with myself, and that when i'm afraid to, its even more important. I need to keep being be and be okay with leading my own life. I need a man to fit with my family. And the one im most scared about because ive never been good a keeping guys friends.. is that i need a guy who enjoys me like a friend. I can learn to cook, clean and support but if im not someone they are interested in talking to.. i cant do that. Opposite attract but i want to love some of the same major things like hobbies and ministry. Today at the film festival i noticed that Jesse Rosten has his wife in on helping and creating ideas for his films and thats what im talking about. That thing i see every once in a while, when couples like Amy and Jerry are really friends. thats what im waiting for, praying for. We'll see, won't we!

snake bite- happy st. patty's day

2009-03-17T02:18:00.000-07:00

im still so thankful for being here in redding.. Im not sure when that feeling will leave. I can't explain to anyone how amazing it feels to be me right now. I was just looking down at my ear-buds and i can remember wearing them on all the runs/walks i took at the trail right behind my old appartment complex. I have flash backs and its really kinda funny. All my life just has such different chapters in it so far and that chapter of San Diego is the weirdest. I think ive been thinking about it because im thinking of visiting next month. It's just that it was the slowest year of my life and this is the fastest.. i CANNOT believe it is almost april. i can remember the little st. pattys day stick i had on my cheek last year.. i sent a picture of it to Dusty. It is sooo weired how that was a year ago. i donno
THANK YOU GOD for bringing me back here, i love where im at.. and everyone knows that.
im learning how to drive the Yaris in case i buy it. what i huge decision that is! my gosh, i mean i just think about being 13,000 $ in debt and i cringe. Its just that my car is free right now so really the only reason for the Yaris is to have a change, have something that i think is nicer and i donno, its just a hard choice to make. id rather be thankful for what i have, but then i think that i want to spend something on me becuase ive worked hard, and then i realize that the Yaris might just feel like a hammy down anyways, maybe i should look into getting a Murano like i've always dreamed. ahhhh i don't know.
high lights of this week:realizing that i deserve one on one time, like it's not a reward if im good.. i just deserve it because i'm me. As girls, we just don't like feeling disconnected from people we love. I can't believe i was surprised today that tyler would sit down at a table with just me, for no real reason but just that im worth hanging out with. i think it blew me out of the water.
hair- im actually busy this week praise the lord
my dad said, "you're a good catch rebekah" and that meant a lot
talking with Abby & Lindsey
going and getting enough sleep- which im doing right now by ending this so i can get in bed.